I feel big again - surprise surprise!

I just don't feel like i'm getting better at all! Things are just boring - i just feel fat all the time and i'm fucking pissed of about it now !

For Gods Sake what do i have to do to get rid of this feeling ! AAAAARRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHH ! I was tensing it last week and felt great but now its beginning to get harder to do and i can't do  it after i've eaten or i feel sick so thats out !

I don't know what to do really i'm just lost - how do i feel good again

Walked in on sibling watching iCarly yesterday and i thought bloody hell shes so skinny ! I want to be like her ! HOW DO I DO THAT ! I'm scared that it's not possible? or that the doctors or my parents won't let me ?