work experience this week - its alright i'm not complaining i basically get up late and don't do much for 7 hours before i come home to no hw - fab
Anyway i've just had a big dinner, and have decided that i basically feel fat all the time from the moment after i have my lunch onwards and it feels - crap!
A family member's just had her second baby today and we're going to see it tomorrow - now she's my role model and honestly if i could just be her i would- she's gorgeous shes young, smart, successful, rich, got a husband who loves her, an amazingly gorgeous toddler and now an amazingly gorgeous baby! Perfect life or what !- not to mention the fact that shes small and pretty and yes - thin ! I've always wanted to be like her and i cannot go and see her tomorrow feeling fat ! I just can't !
How do I not feel like this? Please make it go away I've had ENOUGH ! FUCKING ENOUGH !
NORMAL PEOPLE DO NOT HAVE A FUCKING STOMACH THIS FUCKING BIG WHY WON'T ANYONE FUCKING LISTEN TO ME \!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH ! :@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@ in case you haven't realised i'm feeling quite shit !
I understand that people (parents and doctors) think its not big - but they don't know what a nice teenage tummy is (cause they don't give a shit nor are they teenagers!) and they're not the ones who have to live with it !
For gods sake I cannot do this anymore ! I'm really unhappy and i don't know what to do ! I sometimes feel like whats the point in me being here? I feel like I don't have a purpose or a reason to be alive cause i'm just not happy and don't know what to do and i've been so unhappy for so long i want to give up
I'm so tired sometimes i just want to die in a hole and stay there - i don't have the energy to get up tomorrow and do this all over again !
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