Friday, 17 June 2011

Giving up

Well, i haven't felt good about my body / thin at all for the past week or 2 and i'm getting very worried and scared that thats it now ! I'm not going to be thin ! I'M NOT why do people keep saying it they haven't even seen my body ! For gods sake ! :@ I bet if I show them they won't think that anymore !

My mum says because she doesn't want to admit that i'm right ! My dad doesn't know what fat is in a teenage girl - Its so annoying !

I admit i used  to be thin and i did feel that sometimes at least - sometimes i had little moments where i felt fat or full but it could literally be 1 minute later i would feel differently !

Now, I just feel fat ALL THE TIME and i don't know what to do.
I see people with really nice figures and before i wished i had a flat and toned stomach but now i'd gladly have what i had before so i didn't have to feel this shit !

I am fat ! My stomach is massive ! And won't ever go down - it used to be big after i'd eaten - now its big all the time ! PLEASE GO AWAY ! OR AT LEAST TELL HOW ! My mind is in the mode where I would actually do anything ! 

: ANYTHING !

I just don't know what that anything is that will work ! And no-one will let me try ! I'm so depressed - Everything's happened that i'm scared of - i now don't want to go anywhere, do anything or see anyone because i feel WAY too self-consious ! I don't give a shit about eating in fact its all getting easier and i find that i'm hungry even after i've eaten !

Whats wrong with me - please somebody HELP !

They've ruined me now ! Everything I was afraid would happen has now happened, I feel utterly shit and want to give up - i'm now actually thinking whats the point, I feel that i have no purpose - i only have my really close friends no one else cares, my parents just care about my health not my feelings and the people i go to see only see that i'm anorexic they don't know what my stomach looks like because i only ever go there in school uniform ! Wtf 

x Help Please x

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