Ok so today went well - i felt really good i look nice in the pictures we took and i tensed most of the day and its starting to be more comfortable but
Always a but
I came home at 5.30 and had my snack and i'm bloody stuffed and we're having tea - but i mean my nice, thin, easy-to-tense-and-get-my-dream-body feeling is gone ! and I'm very upset !
I physically can't get it atm cause i'm stuffed so i'm worried about eating in public now cause then i'll have that fat feeling and won't be able to change it!
(btw i went up .8 kg today which is great yh but more that i'm meant to and i'm worried it will keep going up like that and i don't see the dietician till like late July and i only need like 2kgs left so i'll go up loads ! - but if it goes up the same next week i'm going to ring her and cut down - i refuse to go back to the way i was or I think i might actually die- sounds drastic but i fear if i have to be like that again i'm going to be permantly depressed and I don't want to know what i'm capable of) x
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